How does one live a life in constant storms when there is no safe harbor anywhere? The metaphor is not only symbolic for Fabien, who, with his pronounced ADHD, had neither a healthy home with his addicted father nor his emotionally neglectful mother. He actually spent two years at sea – on a youth ship, a controversial institution even then, and now closed, for troubled youths.
“I got into a lot of trouble, stole bikes and mopeds, for example,” explains the now 38-year-old. His mother, together with the youth welfare office, therefore decided on this measure. The idea: young people are to be isolated from their environment and, under strict discipline, learn to integrate and contribute to the community. Only those who have met expectations for 40 weeks are allowed to leave the ship. For Fabien , it took two years. He was 16 years old when he was back on solid ground.
ADHD diagnosis
As a therapeutic measure, the intervention had no lasting effect – rather, it confirmed what Fabien had experienced his entire life: that he didn't fit in anywhere and couldn't cope with structures and rules. Even in primary school, he had been placed in a special needs class because of his disruptive behavior, but he couldn't stay there due to a lack of challenge. Back in a regular class, he was simply unmanageable.
At the age of nine, an ADHD diagnosis provided an explanation for his behavior, and Ritalin a temporary solution. A year later, he read in his father's cannabis magazine that ADHD medications have a similar effect on the brain as cocaine. Influenced by his father's drug addiction, he wanted nothing to do with such substances and stopped taking the medication on his own.
Fabien only partially attributes his unusual behavior to ADHD. "With my mother, I could do whatever I wanted, she wasn't interested," he says. He was also largely denied opportunities to play together, be read to, cuddle, or talk with her. Consequently, he never learned how to deal with rules and structures.
Lost job and home
He also attributes his inability to complete his apprenticeship as a baker/confectioner, which he began after the youth ship program, to these circumstances. Shortly after dropping out, his mother's partner at the time threw him out of their apartment – Fabien had forgotten to extinguish a candle, causing his mattress to catch fire. Although he had a warm relationship with his biological father, he was unable to find accommodation with him and his mother either.
Initially homeless, he soon found his way into the left-wing autonomous squatting scene. For a while, he was content. "I had peace and quiet. Every now and then I had to serve a fine, but that didn't stress me out," he says. However, he only found true happiness when, at the age of 25, he reconnected with a school friend on Facebook and the two fell in love.
was still living Fabien without ADHD medication – not only due to his risk of addiction, but also because he has glaucoma, which is a contraindication for all ADHD medications. "My ADHD is so severe that I'm hardly capable of relationships without therapy," explains Fabien. "People find me annoying because I'm restless, and my impulsiveness makes me easily hurtful."
Joy of life thanks to cannabis
Four years ago, he spoke with his family doctor about the possibilities of cannabis therapy. Since then, he has been taking dronabinol, a liquid synthetic THC preparation. It significantly alleviates his symptoms, but his stomach didn't tolerate it well. Therefore, a specialized pharmacy now produces dronabinol capsules for him with coconut oil as a carrier: 60 capsules cost almost 2000 Swiss francs. His health insurance covers the costs.
Since flower essences would be much cheaper and work just as well for him, he's trying to get them covered by his insurance, but his efforts are in vain. With the help of a doctor put in touch with him by the Association Medcan, he's now submitting his fifth request for reconsideration. "The next step is the insurance ombudsman," he says resolutely.
His willingness to fight for a long-term, financially sustainable, and economically sound solution becomes all the more understandable when one considers not only his ADHD history but also his physical ailments: Due to a herniated disc, he took the maximum approved dose of Novalgin for over four years, a medication that, due to potential side effects, should only be used for short periods. He was only able to discontinue it with the introduction of Dronabinol drops.
After a long odyssey, Fabien has found his safe haven. He lives with his girlfriend, receives a full disability pension, and thanks to cannabis medication is able to manage the household, look after the dog, and maintain a stable circle of friends.
