Tanja cares about those around her. This has been the case since she was a child. She cushioned her mother's manic episodes, looked after her little sister and supported her family when her father died of lung cancer.
Tanja learned the hard way that she had to take care of herself at the age of 16, when meningitis paralyzed her body for four months. She suffered severe headaches, fever, was unable to move her limbs, and was extremely disoriented. “I was no longer able to control my arms and legs and I could no longer speak an intelligible word,” says Tanja. She was treated in the hospital for almost a month. Tanja got back on her feet, but had to stop her apprenticeship because she was absent too often due to illness.
In order to concentrate on her career, she left home and completed new training as a care specialist and then wanted to start studying to become a social worker. But she was thwarted again. This time it was the increasingly severe back pain. Despite her young age, Tanja was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in her back and also diagnosed with lumbospondylogenic syndrome. The pain in her back also radiated into Tanja's legs. To the point where she couldn't feel them anymore. “I had mornings where I couldn’t sit up and sit on the edge of the bed – let alone get up.”
Tanja then underwent rehab for a month. This was good for her. In addition to simple physical activities like walking, she also tested CBD drops to relieve the pain. However, the CBD had no effect on Tanja, apart from severe fatigue. The THC drops brought her improvement. This active ingredient still helps her to create distance from her pain today.
Confused clinical picture with no prospect of improvement
But after a few months, Tanja developed severe headaches, vertigo and her joints became inflamed. In addition, the pain settled again in her back. Tanja could hardly concentrate on anything other than her condition. What's going on?
The diagnosis that Tanja has been living with for 10 years today is varied: severe fibromyalgia, Lyme disease, migraines, severe ME/CFS (exhaustion syndrome) and trigeminal neuralgia. Your clinical picture is so confusing that you can no longer combat the causes. To avoid the worst pain, she isolates herself. Because noises, fast movements and light cause dizziness and pain in her.
If she ventures outside, she risks her body collapsing and losing her sense of direction. This condition can last for a few hours or even a few days. To prevent such a collapse, Tanja, on the advice of her doctor, always has a joint with her. At the first sign of symptoms, she can take a few hits of cannabis to stave off the overwhelming dizziness and numbing pain.
“Cannabis gives me quality of life”
Cannabis has several effects on Tanja: after one or two hits on a joint, she can relieve the morning vertigo and nausea and thus forestall the urge to vomit. Cannabis also helps her to mobilize herself and to activate her limbs and get up in the morning using her own strength. She can then gain distance from the pain and more energy Especially when the failing nervous system triggers severe headaches, a joint helps Tanja clear her head.
A constant level of THC in the body allows Tanja to be on her feet for around two to four hours a day. But the more she does, the more the pain returns as soon as she lies down afterwards. From then on, the only thing that helps is peace and total isolation from light, noise and other stimuli. Cannabis helps Tanja to cushion such energy crashes and to fall asleep better.
Like many people who treat themselves with cannabis, Tanja can still clearly remember the first time she took the medication: “After the first two hits on a joint, I felt like I was reborn. I had the feeling that I could tear up trees." (A remarkable statement from a woman who often lacks the strength to sit up in bed in the morning.)
It took her a while to find a source of high-quality cannabis. Because the quality determines how well the remedy works. She accepts this inconvenience in order to overcome her many hardships.
A game of hide and seek
In order for Tanja to get through the day, she always maintains a certain THC level. Tanja only tells those closest to her that she takes this remedy so often. When she meets distant relatives, friends or acquaintances , she forgoes her medication. «As a cannabis patient, I still feel a certain amount of shame. “Many people still see the remedy as something negative and therefore see me as a lazy stoner,” she says.
But Tanja's story doesn't fit a slacker, but rather a fighter. Despite extreme limitations, she appears positive and caring. When asked how she manages this, she says: “I force myself to move and go outside. Even if I can only do it for 5 minutes. I know I need this for my psychological health.” She enjoys this short time in daylight to the fullest: “You learn to appreciate smaller things than when you are healthy.”((Box))
Tanja struggles with several illnesses at the same time, which makes her clinical picture confusing and a cure impossible.
